Beauty after 50: Botox

I tried Botox for the first time when I was 42. It was outside my budget and everything in the news warned that a mistake could leave you looking like a “plate face.” But my dermatologist promised that it could make me look younger and fresher in just 7 days. He was right and I became a believer.

But should I be ashamed of getting a little professional help?

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“Are you working out tomorrow morning?” B asked.

“Nope, I have a 6:30 am appointment with my Rn. I can’t workout for 24 hours after,” I answered.

B squeezed my hand. “Is everything ok?”

I said, “Oh B, thank you for worrying but you don’t have to. I noticed that I looked tired, so I am heading in for a little Botox fix.”

B gave me a grave and sincere expression. He said, “You are such a natural beauty. I would love you with wrinkles. Please don’t do anything that changes your appearance.”

I reassured him that he wouldn’t even notice. Even the tiny bruises are hard to see if you aren’t looking for them.

Aside: The “natural” me relies on a self-care regimen that includes a healthy diet, orange theory, pure barre and core power yoga. Then body maintenance that includes hair dye, eyelashes, mani/ pedi’s every three weeks, and Botox/Juvederm every 3-6 months to keep the deep wrinkles away. He wouldn’t recognize the “natural” me.

The next morning at the spa, while Debbie was drawing little white dots on my face, I asked her if other men worried about their wives/girlfriends getting Botox.

Debbie answered, “Almost everyone.” She laughed and said, “I never tell my husband when I get Botox or filler.” She explained, “One day, we were in Orange County and a group of girls with ‘duck lips’ were in line in front of us. He said, ‘they don’t look natural, please don’t do that.’ He just didn’t want me to look plastic. ”

Debbie owns the spa and gets Botox and Juvederm all the time. Her husband has “never” noticed.

B never notices either.

It’s hard being a mature woman. If we don’t take care of ourselves we hear, “Wow, she really let herself go.” If we hold it together with injections we hear, “She’s so vane. She would look so much better if she just aged naturally.”

I guess we just need to do what makes us feel our best.

BEAUTY after 50: How you look at me

Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think our time is best spent finding someone that you think is beautiful, who thinks you are special too. Someone who will fill your heart, your soulmate. Then tell them.

I am so grateful for you in my life.

All the big and small things you do.

Most important: how you love me, how you hold me, how you kiss me, how you look at me.

Popular taste in beauty changes over time. I stood in the antique store staring at this post card, captivated by 1907’s definition of beauty and how much that definition had changed in just over 100 years.

Margueritte B. Frey was chosen in a National Contest by the Chicago Tribune where they spent $100,000 to find her. Margueritte was 29 years old and earning $104 a year working in a bank. She was described as blonde with a pink and white complexion. She was 5’9″ and 10 stone (140 lbs). And she was intelligent, having graduated from Denver East High School. I couldn’t find anything on the prize she collected or what happened to her after 1907, but I hope it was wonderful.

PS – I bought the post card.

FITNESS at 50: we come in all shapes and sizes

I was speaking with one of my mentors. She is a retired politician and one of the most beautiful women I know. She is in her late 70’s, has the body of a ballerina, kind brown eyes, a quick friendly smile and beautiful glowing skin. She also wears clothing in a way that looks effortlessly glamorous.

We had an opportunity to discuss her success and I asked her if she thought her style had an impact?

She squeezed my hand and said, “Yes of course. But I am no more attractive than anyone else. People come in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful.”

Those weren’t just words. Her timeless beauty stems from a fundamental belief that everyone is beautiful, no matter their size, shape, clothing or features. Because she only sees beauty, she is beautiful.

Anyone can be beautiful like my mentor, right now. It doesn’t take a diet, a blowout or a shopping spree. Just begin to see and reflect the beauty in others and your beauty will shine through.