She’s a former homecoming queen with long natural blond hair, a contagious laugh, and startlingly beautiful royal blue eyes. She has an MBA, makes friends easily and just retired from a successful career culminating as Chief Financial Officer. Other people dream of having her life, but she feels alone.
Why? She doesn’t believe that she is pretty enough to attract her dream man. She says, “This isn’t my body. When I am thinner, I will go on a dating site and find my dream man. ” I tell her that any man would be fortunate to have her, but she won’t budge.
She’s just 20 lbs away from ultimate happiness and she knows that losing 20 lbs is very achievable. How comforting for her to know that the perfect life is in reach … just a few more pounds to go.
A little history: She escaped from a bad marriage that caused her trauma. I think the fear of repeating that trauma has manifested in her “if only” statement. Sometimes when we use “if only” it’s our way of explaining to ourselves why we are avoiding taking action to achieve our hearts desire. If we take actions, we might fail. The potential real life rejection is so unpalatable that we choose the fantasy of future happiness over true joy.
She retired last year and opened a coffee shop in a small town across the country. When I visited her, she described her “Hallmark moment” featuring her dream man. “He’ll walk into [my shop]. The moment I pour his coffee we’ll know that we’ve found each other.” Sigh.
I believe her. Without knowing it, she is asking the universe directly for what she wants and taking action.
Please cross your fingers for her, too. Call me a romantic, but I believe that soulmates are like magnates to each other. I am hopeful that her soulmate loves coffee. He will definitely love her just the way she is!
Life after 50 